I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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