Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
