Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
