she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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