so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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