let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
