Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
