Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
