You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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