Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize