I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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