I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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