We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
