Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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