there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
