i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
