i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
