So drunk its hurt
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize