Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
