There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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