I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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