Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
