So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
