I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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