i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
