i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
