new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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