He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
