she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He felt like a one man threesome
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
