two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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