I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
