You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
