Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
