Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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