no, he came in my armpit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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