I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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