dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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