dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He passed out mid-signature
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
