I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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