Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
