I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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