weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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