my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
