Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
