like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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