she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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