why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
