bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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