The beer is more important than you right now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
