fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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