Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
