She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
