There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
