I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
