I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
