Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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