Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize