Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
