Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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