this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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