p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
BRING THE BAGELS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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