it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
