i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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