People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
