How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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