didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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