Already got asked if we're dating
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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