So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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