Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
