hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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